Peter Piper able to choose a plum career


I have read all the reports on the labor market, that is, the glut of jobs and the corresponding shortage of workers.

I decided to do a quick job search on Indeed for the Kewanee area to see what would show up and if employers were begging local workers to join their companies.

Kewanee’s search brought up several pages of job listings and the first thing I noticed is that most companies are already offering $ 15 an hour, well ahead of the minimum wage deadline imposed by the company. ‘Status in 2025.

So yes, it is a labor market. All the business owners who predicted disaster when the minimum wage hit are now begging those same workers to take a raise. The argument from a delivery company that I found strangely desperate: “No maintenance is required!” Guess that will happen in court when they find out that the plaintiff they hired was a multi-state serial killer sending franked body parts across the country.

Performance expectations for another job, that of “universal cashier”, simply seemed unattainable.

An Indian company named Hindjua Universal Solutions appeared to be making a brave effort to do just that, advertising customer service agents and customer service specialists in Wyoming, a town in Illinois named after a other state. It is truly global.

Almost all of the jobs I saw were service oriented. Store clerks, phone reps, drivers, restaurant servers, package handlers – they all pay the bills, but none of them have much upward mobility in their career path. Who knows if the minimum wage will ever increase in these areas.

The wording of a search ad is essential, and while they were once the exclusive property of newspapers, the idea behind a good search ad remains the same – to make an unwilling jerk at Company A believe that working in company B is like going to heaven without the painful conversion, cleaning up the living and dying parts.

Most classified ad writers do their best to promote their business, posting quiet, inviting buzzwords that contradict the company’s track record of accidentally cut fingers and questionable accounting practices.

Help Wanted: Progressive company is looking for a results-driven problem solver who can change the industry paradigm from a lounge chair on our beautiful oceanfront campus that includes a ping-pong table in each conference room loaded with espresso! “

Who wouldn’t want to work there, even if I could discern exactly what position they were advertising for?

What candidates don’t see is that the author of the ad is actually a mechanic who was asked to help with human resources when the company made cuts the previous year. . What they don’t tell you is that while you’re hired as an accountant to straighten out the company’s books, you may also be asked to do some frontal alignment every now and then.

I fell for one of these ad slots once and found myself in a room filled with 100 other suckers who were asked to participate in a tiered marketing program selling green cleaning fluids. Robert, if that was his name, had been so nice that I almost – almost – felt embarrassed to be the first to stand up, turn my back to him halfway up and then take the shame walk ahead. everyone and go out the back door. I don’t wear a tie for just anyone and Robert wasn’t worthy of it (he’s probably a millionaire today).

The modern job search term still takes human emotion (the sucker quotient) into account, but goes one step further by including keywords for SEO search (the electronic sucker quotient).

In the job search at Kewanee it manifests itself this way, as all of those jobs were found within the first five pages of the search. I am amazed by the variety of jobs available: Packaging employee, packaging associate, packaging specialist, package handler, parcel post, warehouse package handler, material handler, order picker, order picker. orders, order picker / packer, warehouse associate, warehouse receiver, warehouse worker, freight handler.

The least inspired on this list is “package position” and my favorite is “package manager”, although on second reading “package position” actually sounds more slanderous.

My only hope is that an order picker / packer earns twice as much as an order picker or order packer.

Either way, for any picking or packing job, just put Peter Piper on the resume. You probably won’t have to worry about an interview.

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